Depression

The twin of anxiety is depression and this is something that has plagued me most of my life. It started when I was eight or nine years old when I was having problems at school. I really didn’t want to be near anybody and wanted to be alone. I also could never feel happy and was down a lot.
In my teen years weren’t much better as I would often have dark periods in my life. I would feel out of sorts and not really with it. My grades suffer as I often had no motivation and would try to”self-meditate”. But the drugs and alcohol just made things worse and probably prolonged my moods.
In my adulthood I struggled even more with depression not realizing it was often caused by my anxiety. I did alright in college but still struggled as felt suicidal. I went into counselling and it seemed to help.
After college I seem to be directionless as I had problems finding a job in my field and would fall into dark moods. I begin to have suicidal thoughts again and didn’t seem motivated at times. I was stuck in a rut living at home. Also,I also started drinking heavily again.
Eventually I moved out on own and got married, Stopped drinking, bought a house etc.. But I have been plagued by these dark moods as some of them gotten to the point where I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I also get to a place where I feel lethargic and am in a bad way.
I realize that these two things go together like peanut butter and jelly. I have to seek out counselling and find ways to cope. I need the strength of the Lord to help me through these periods as well.